I hope you're all enjoying the end of summer, overall I think we've had a decent one here in the UK. I love all the seasons for different reasons, and as I walk around everyday I see the leaves changing colour, the mushrooms have popped up in their masses around the various woods I walk in. The regulars who pick them are out in force with their bags and baskets collecting freely from what nature provides us with. Good on them I say, although I'd not personally know a safe one from a poisonous one myself....so I'll leave it to the experts to carry on collecting, that and the fact I only like them when they are practically burnt to a crisp!.
So Autumn is upon us, a season I love to watch unfold, crisp misty mornings, your breath visible in the air, the day taking longer to warm up, the amazing colours as the leaves change before dropping off and as they lay there dried out on the ground, the wonderful crunching sound as you walk through them. I've already seen that the conkers are growing and soon the aged old battle between kids and squirrels wanting to collect their trophies before the other will be in full flow....I feel sad for the kids these days that aren't allowed to play conkers at playtime at school....yes we got rapped on the knuckles, bloody hell even hit on the head if your opponent was truly rubbish at playing but what a rite of passage it felt when a kid to play this autumnal game! all the ancient folklore things we did to try make our conkers like concrete.....such fun we had!
So in recent times it's seen my break up from my very new and short relationship, my first stepping out of my Jelly cave in over three years didn't have the ending I guess I had hoped for , but shows life is always a mystery, and yes we are constantly learning. I think overall after making the decision to come out of my shell. stretch my wings and test the waters in gay world for potential friends and who knew maybe something more, something I've not done in decades to be honest, I can honestly say it hasn't been the best experience all round and has only strengthened my own opinions as to why I avoided it for practically all of my time as an out gay girl. Feeling a little battered, extremely confused and bewildered. So once again single and feeling yes a little sad but at least more secure and sure footed. I definitely do not understand the nuances and subtleties that happen between two people starting out a new relationship and was constantly off kilter not knowing or actually understanding what was happening most of the time. It turned out to be a really stressful and overwhelming experience for me, totally draining and in the end not fun at all. So an endeavour I'm not at all in a rush to go through again if ever. And that does sadden me, because I know I'm a decent person and would love to share life experiences with an other, but not sure I can cope with it all to be perfectly honest.
Some fabulous news is I'm shortly going to embark on a Dog grooming course to run alongside my dog walking business. It's to hopefully make up for the shortfall in finances and of course I can offer a much sought after service within the pet industry. Because I need to still be working, I'm going to be doing the City & Guilds accredited course a couple of days a week until the last two weeks which I'll do in block. I've already told family members to choose which style they'll be wanting as I'll need to practice my shaving, blending and styling skills...my mum almost choked on her tea when I asked if she fancied the Bichon Frise look ha ha!! So all been well I'll be qualified and in full action mid February 2016! A new challenge for me to sink my teeth into, I cannot wait. So in the meantime I've taken on an evening pt job ( around 20 hours a week ) to boost the coffers. I'm gophering in the kitchen at a local pub and loving it. It's quite strange having human contact and conversations while working! So over the next few months, busy,busy,busy - this is great as it will keep my messy never stop brain occupied, something it definitely needs.
Healthwise bit of a mixed bag still. Fabulous news as my mammogram came back clear so that's now 6 years clear since my 2009 diagnosis with the breast cancer. So very happy with that and still feeling fully validated in my decision to stop the anti cancer drugs three years early - Mount.Kilimanjaro certainly wouldn't have even been possible if I'd stuck on the drugs as you'll understand from previous posts.
A few unexpected weeks I've just had, and a couple to three more of the old waiting game for me. I had had a sore throat for over a week and it wasn't clearing up, by this time I was suffering with earache and yep it was hurting when I swallowed, the voice wasn't particularly croaky but if I had an Adams apple that's where it was worse in that area. So I phoned the doctors and asked for a telephone consult, didn't think there was any need to see one, anyway I spoke with the doctor who made me an appointment to come in later that morning to see an actual doctor. Turned out I had a throat, saliva gland and ear infection. As they are quite rightly doing now, he didn't give me antibiotics but various drugs to battle the infection. As he told me if it had turned out to be laryngitis like I've had before, that clears itself up in ten days and antibiotics actually only improve that time by sixteen hours. I went off with my mixture of med's and instructions if no improvement in a few days to phone up.
I left it a week and was in actual fact worse not better. Although my saliva glands and ears are better, my throat not so. Again I asked to speak to the doctor I'd seen the previous week and was told he'd phone me the next day after his morning clinic around noon. He phoned me just after 9am and then said I needed to go see him, I was actually a little exasperated to be honest, I had a busy day and really thought he'd just write me a prescription for some antibiotics as it was now over two weeks. So I messed about with my walks and planned route for the day to get over to see him. My voice was a little hoarse now and had been for about three days, I was examined by him and told there were no signs of infection but my mouth was still very red and of course my voice was hoarse. He said to me after asking the usual do you smoke, drink kind of questions that he wanted to ask me a question that probably wasn't going to be relevant to me but was there any history of cancer in the family. I said yes there is and he said who - I looked at him and said me.....oh I wish I'd video'd his face ha! the look that crossed his face was priceless ( and proves they don't bother reading your notes before you go in to see them!! ) he was deeply concerned and I was in actual fact trying not to laugh at his face....don't think he expected that reaction from someone whose had cancer when being told he thinks the cancer could have spread! But there again I'm not particularly normal as we already know.
He said he was deeply concerned that the cancer could have spread into my chest cavity and the fact my throat was worse and showed no signs of infection although was very red in my mouth that if (and he wasn't that hopeful) that my chest xray came back clear that I would then be sent off to ENT to check if I had got throat cancer. I was actually thrown a little because I genuinely wasn't expecting that at all, I really just expected to get some antibiotics and be off on my way to catch up on my day.
I had a form to phone up Shipley hospital to book for my xray, he told me it would be 7-10 days for the results and that he'd phone me about what would follow the results - if the chest showed something, off to the chest doctors I'd go, if not onto ENT for investigations into my throat. Because of the Bank holiday weekend I got a 9am appointment of the Tuesday after. So off I went back to work and to the excitement of Leeds Fest on the Saturday. Had a fab weekend with fabulous friends and then had my xray done the Tuesday morning. Was surprised when the doctor phoned me Thursday the same week to say the xray was clear of any signs of cancer ( great news ) and so he was going to urgently refer me to ENT for my throat to be checked for cancer. He expects even on an urgent referral for it to be 2-3 weeks before I hear anything. So on with normal life until it's time for that.
I after waiting 6 months finally had my appointment with the Chronic pain clinic regarding the pain in my left side I've suffered with for over 3 years - in that time I've had various investigations with one consultant done, but they've never gotten to the bottom of it, and it really does bother me. It affects my sleep and everything. So I figured it was worth checking this clinic out to see what could be done....tramadol doesn't even take the edge off the pain.
So Thursday of last week I finally go, chatted with the consultant who obviously wanted to examine me. While he had is fingers jammed under my bottom rib while I was laying on my right side he asked if that was the pain as I was almost going through the roof, I answered through gritted teeth, yes that's the one. He said what does it feel like, I said like someones got their fist rammed under my ribs - a bit like you right now!! We went and sat back in his office and he said -I'm a bit at a loss to be honest.
I think and it doesn't mean it is that it could be inflammation of the lining of your bottom rib or a tear in the muscle that attaches to your rib that's inflamed. I said inflammation in the muscle for over 3 years? if that's the case why can't you glue the muscle back to the rib and close the tear? he said I'm leaning to the lining of the actual rib because the pain at times radiates right into your back.....so likely to be the whole rib. And the bad news for you is there's practically nothing we can do for you. Definitely not what I wanted to hear.
He said we can try a cortisone injection into the most painful place and you may get some relief for a bit. I said at this point I'm willing to try anything to get some relief. So I signed the consent form because it has to be done under theatre conditions so he can check on the xray and I'll be having this done on the 30th of this month at 07.30am to see if it helps at all. So it's a definite suck it and see, I do hope it works it would be great to have a break from it for a little while.
So yes a bit of a mixed bag still with the health but onwards and upwards I keep striving to move. It won't stop me doing my thing just like before.
Fabulous news is my Bonge Kilimanjaro buddies Bec's and Ali have agreed to come on another amazing climbing expedition with me in 2017....another off my bucket list. We are off to climb Mount.Roraima in Venezuela!! - reportedly where Conan Doyle based his book The Lost World. A plateau where there are plants and wildlife found nowhere else on earth. It is the oldest geological formation and dates back over 2 billion years. It's in the same National Park as the Angel Falls ( the tallest falls on the planet) - so hopefully we'll get over to visit them while in Venezuela. The plateau is 31 km's and has gorges, black rocks, numerous pools and wildflower gardens.
Now this is something for me to concentrate on and work towards. I'm extremely happy about this adventure and jubilant it will have we climbing girls back together on another epic trip...no doubt nothing but laughs, fun and lots of constant ribbing the whole time - life is sweet!
I will update what's happening with all the new medical dramas as I have information to share. I will of course as always give full disclosure.
My next post I'll carry on with the Mount.Kilimanjaro trip of a lifetime, it's Safari time on the trip for we girls, we are still buzzing about successfully climbing Mount.Kilimanjaro and our amazing but humbling day with the children of Osiligi Orphanage
Until then
Tracy
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