Before that, here's a photo of Autumn - one of my favourite seasons, you cannot beat the autumnal colours of the leaves. Those days where there's a chill in the air, but it's still good enough to get out and wander.
Healthwise 2012 has been a mixed bag for me again. I started the year still taking my cancer prevention drug Letrozole. The problems that I had at the end of 2012 carried over into the New Year, as the first quarter of the year got under way, my health and mobility deteriorated. I was at this point ( as a lot of you are aware ) struggling to get out of bed unaided, struggling to dress myself even while sitting down. The joint stiffness and swelling were very hard to bare, added to the bone and muscle pain, this made life very difficult.These issues were on top of all the other side effects I was struggling with. I was so very frustrated, unable to get to the gym, unable to move myself forward, in fact I was sliding ever further backwards.
I finally had a consult with the Rheumatologist the back end of March where she confirmed that a lot of the problems were indeed being caused by the Letrozole ( the breast clinic doctors had said it wouldn't be the drug causing my bone, joint and muscle problems ). So this was the final piece of information I had been waiting for, I had been thinking long and hard about stopping the cancer prevention drug for up to 12 months. This consult made up my mind. I could in no way carry on like that for a further 3 years which is how long I still had to go with the Letrozole.
Now I had made my final decision I felt a weight come off my shoulders, it had been a very difficult decision to make, no doubt the right one for me, I couldn't have lived like that, I always said it's all about the quality of life, not the quantity. The conversations I had with the medical profession were lively shall I say at times. It is a massive risk I've taken, but if my life is only to be extended by 5 years for example through the drugs.....well it was 5 wasted years.....what is the point of extending your life by 5 years if you cannot do anything and are poorly for the whole of it.
I know and understand the risks to myself from my decision - but everyday I get better, everyday I do something creative, fulfilling validates my decision. I am a million miles from where I want to be....but that is much closer than it was this March. Many issues I was having have been settling down over the months, the joint stiffness and pain is now manageable with painkillers, a vast improvement from before. My mobility is much better and I have been back in the gym on and off this year. The biggest issue I have is the ongoing problem with my lower pelvic area. I carried into this year these problems and will exit the year with them too. I have been seeing my consultant a lot this year. My issues are with UTI's, kidneys infections, lower back pain etc. I've had a couple of procedures done in July this year, which didn't solve my problems. I will be having another day surgery in Jan 2013...fingers crossed this solves it once and for all. I will have been on antibiotics for approx 11 months solid and my biggest worry is more for the long term....I, as many know pick up almost everything that's going around ( my immune system never really recovered from the chemo etc ) and after long use of the antibiotics, it may reduce the choices available to infections in the future. My body is already finding that some antibiotics are ineffectual. So lets hope I don't need to have any more doses for a very long time.
So War on Cancer has had a good year, the first annual endurance sponsored challenge was a huge success - thank you to everyone who took part!....I look forward to seeing you on the 2013 sponsored challenge, and hope we make some new friends who get has passionate about it as we all are!
I unfortunately didn't and couldn't complete the Yorkshire 3 Peaks challenge, I was very unwell coming down from the summit of Whernside and was in no fit state to carry on. I actually didn't stop vomiting until 4 pm that day....my big brother Graham reckoned I'd single handedly irrigated the Yorkshire Dales that day. It was a wonderful day made even better by the fantastic family & friends who took on this really tough challenge. I was totally overwhelmed by you all, and thank you for doing it, whether to challenge yourselves or as in most cases a mixture of that and supporting my cause.
Based on what happened at the 3 Peak challenge it was with a heavy heart I had to admit to myself I was in no way going to be able to do Mt. Kilimanjaro this year. I took that pretty bad at the time, and it's only with reflection I can accept it was a really big ask of myself to be ready to climb the world's tallest free standing mountain months after hardly being able to dress myself. Even my motivation and determination weren't going to get me to the "Roof of Africa" in 2012.
This year has seen family and friends fighting the fight against cancer....for those who finished their invasive treatments and those who are still having them - I want to say how truly wonderful you all are....I say to anyone who asks me....the cancer family is one no-one wants to belong to....but if you become part of it, there will never be anywhere that supports and understands you more. Keep fighting - it's what we all do best. For friends who fought courageously to the end but didn't make it, I say you never gave up and that's what's important. You are and will be sadly missed...but will never be forgotten. Always in our hearts.
I caught up with friends I had not seen in a long time - I loved my mad crazy week with Merryn, showing her around the North of England....letting her get a taste of Yorkshire and some surrounding counties as we did a whirlwind tour of everything Mr Darcy! - I think she'll be back to visit in the future.
The joys of Facebook saw me catch up with some old school chums who I hadn't seen or heard of in 30 years!....this is social media at it's most positive best! Some of my old school pals I had gone to school with at 4 years old and other at 9.....it has being the best time, catching up on each others lives. I cannot describe what fun I've had with all this!....it's so nice when social media is used for the good and not some poor excuse at flirting and cheating on supposed loved ones. It is a very sad fact of life that individuals think that kind of poor behaviour is acceptable and that it's not really cheating....because you don't actually meet up with them....erm yes it is cheating in the fullest...it's only because geographically it may be impossible to meet up - the intent is still there.
I entered a new chapter of my life earlier this year, I started 2 part-time college courses ( both going really well )...I've been doing a work placement at the Bradford Bulls which is great fun. This after the end of my 14 year relationship.....it's all change about. A new me and a new future - onwards and upwards.
As always the year end lets many of us reflect over the previous year, many of us look toward the new year with personal challenges, plans and goals we set ourselves. So this is my 2013....
I will announce next month War on Cancer's sponsored annual endurance challenge event for 2013 - I hope to see a return to last years team...and I hope many new faces too! - I said it this year ( yikes )...but really want to move WoC forward in 2013......if you did the challenge and enjoyed it, please come join in 2013 and bring some friends to do the challenge with you! - this will be Spring bank weekend 2013.
I've not given up on a indoor wall climb challenge and will eventually wear you all down so you agree to do it! - I plan on trying to do my bit....and I really have poor upper body strength these days because of the amount of chest muscle I had cut away.....but I want to be part of a wall climb challenge....come help me out!
Mt.Kilimanjaro beckons me to complete the challenge I set myself back in 2010 while recovering from my chemo....this will be Sept/Oct time....help raising sponsorship will be gratefully accepted for this and all events of course!
And my final endurance challenge for 2013 will be with friends as we power walk the New York Marathon 2013 ( if we can secure places ) in November. This will not be for WoC...but Walk the Walk uniting against breast cancer charity.....the same charity we did the London Moonwalk for in 2011.
So after my day surgery in January - hopefully this will end my set backs and then I can concentrate on getting fit and building up my stamina once more....anyone wanting to come join me is more than welcome. 2013 is going to be a very exciting year and I look forward to sharing it with you.
My bucket list never gets shorter and if any of yours do.....I'd question what you are doing wrong! - I'm very fortunate that some of you want to come along and join me in some of my challenges and I hope to see you on more.
Remember Life is for living....Life life, No regrets!
Until next time
Tracy
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