I will be announcing shortly the date for our charity car wash ( hopefully it won't have to be cancelled because of illness this time! ) We have some dates been banded around my volunteers trying to secure one when there are a few of us available to attend. The bigger posters are great, and hopefully will help us catch the eyes of passing motorists. We will be holding the car wash at our usual venue The Sun Inn at Cottingley, where the landlord Mike generously allows us to not only camp out in his carpark for the day...but donates the water to out cause....big thank you as always to you Mike :)
We may not have experienced the best of weather again this summer, it has been miserable, wet and grey for a very large part of it, but it hasn't stopped us getting out and enjoying ourselves. I guess this is why when the sun does make an appearance, we all charge out to soak up some natural Vitamin D!! ....I hope on these days, you have been sensible and have used sun lotion!
It's so strange how cancer and it's treatments affect everyone so differently. This is why they try to design the treatment package around the individual as much as possible. Then each and everyone of us will go through the invasive treatments and be effected so very differently. Some people will go through the invasive treatments and any follow up prevention drugs with little to no problems whatsoever. Others will have mild reactions and some more severe.
When asked about the chemo, I say I feel like I was taken out of my body while poison was poured into it to save my life, and when I've been put back in...I don't quite fit in right anymore.....somethings not quite right. That's the best description I can come up with for it.
I describe myself as one of those who have been effected quite a bit. Not so much from the invasive treatments...but from big issues from the follow up prevention drugs. My current health issues are a cascade from the invasive treatments or from the follow up prevention drugs ( which I decided to stop 3 years early ). When starting the second of my chosen chemo's, this threw me into a chemical induced premature menopause - I haven't come out of this since and it now seem unlikely that I will..this has it's own issues attached to it. This also brought on Osteoporosis and a life time of medications to take. This silent disease affects my life in what I can or cannot longer participate in, having to be careful what sports you take up and what adrenalin challenges you can try....no more chances to parachute again or do a bungee jump etc. This I find quite hard, I've always liked the idea of trying things a little different. I still don't really know or understand that much about it, and suppose I need to find out more, to understand what is a fair risk and what is not, so not to put myself in too much danger of broken bones etc. High cholesterol brought on by the last cancer prevention drug I was on...which as well as stopping the cancer drug, I stopped the cholesterol tablet too....told my GP I want to control it through diet, in theory, I should be okay anyway as I have stopped the cancer drug so my cholesterol should drop back down. I will have a follow up blood test done in a couple of months to check on my progress with that one.
They say your immune system recovers - I haven't found that so much myself, I seem to be quite susceptible to bugs and virus's going around, this is why sometimes you feel like it it's one step forward, two steps back, the important thing for me is to just keep getting back up again and getting back into the groove. It took me a long time to accept I'm never going to be the fit lass who played hockey in the Yorkshire leagues, the lass who could play kick around for hours on end, and any number of other sports. Accepting I have new limitations was difficult, but now I'm there I find I can still self challenge and I am feeling more comfortable in my body and mind. I still set myself the hardest of challenges, to drive myself forward as much as I can....my family think I push myself too hard at times, and in fairness I probably do - but it's what I do, it is who I am, it's what gets me up and at them! We all need something to motivate ourselves, and we all find our motivation in different ways...as long as we find our own and get out there pushing to be the best we can, it doesn't matter where it comes from.
I have not been out walking and exercising in a week now, I am just starting to come around from a severe water infection and a kidney infection, it has been a tough one, but the antibiotics are kicking in now thankfully. I actually see my bladder specialist today for a follow up from my procedures I had done under general about 4 weeks ago. So it will be interesting to see what his opinion of this is. I'm hoping it is just an unlucky blip and not part of something else. I started with problems with my bladder almost 2 years ago....and would really love for it to be sorted now.
When I had my procedures done, it was to take up to a couple of weeks to settle down and then we could see how successful everything had gone, straight after my consultant was happy that this was the case. About 2 weeks after the procedures, I have started having problems when passing water....without getting too graphic, I am experiencing pressure/flow problems again. As to whether this latest severe infection is actually connected to this, only the consultant will know....it could be a blip as I've said, or it could be that my bladder is not emptying properly and the infection has been caused by the "reservoir" of urine that doesn't empty. I sincerely hope this is not the case as I do not want to carry on suffering infection after infection....they are really rather debilitating and painful to say the least. So fingers crossed everything will be okay now.
It's coming up to around the 5 month mark since I stopped taking the Letrozole ( cancer prevention drug) and I still feel I am improving!. The joint pain and stiffness is so much more manageable now, I know I'm still on a painkiller for this problem, but before when I was still on the Letrozole and the painkiller,I could hardly manage the pain of the stiff and swollen joints. I am a lot freer in my movements these days. The muscle/bone pains are also very much improved. As well as many other issues I was having, and I don't for one second regret stopping the drug and know full well the risks I have taken by doing this. I will say again, it is quality of life that is important. The balance has to be right for you as an individual, no-one but you can say if yours is okay for you. I had the lengthy, lively debates with the medical world when I told them I was done with the prevention drugs, but in fairness they did eventually come around and agreed with me about the quality of life.
Here's a re-cap of the last few years of my life, I never once have thought why me, what did I do to deserve this....life sometimes throws you a curved ball....it's not the curve of the ball you have to worry about - it's how you swing your bat at it!
- Severe ankle injury, out of action for 5 months. Major issues with previous employer of 23 yrs ( new top management set on) - took them to tribunal, father passed away, discovery and confirmation of cancer,surgery, chemo and radiation treatment for cancer, bout of pneumonia and a collapsed lung cutting chemo short, other health issues cascaded from cancer treatments, relationship breakdown after 14years and currently selling and breaking up the home.
So here I am, just on the cusp of a completely new start, a new chapter in my life, I am giddy for what my new life can be....where the world is laid out waiting for me to grasp the parts I want. And what I want is really quite simple.....I want to live my life to the full, spend time with loving family & friends.... ones who want to spend time with me, lose the ones who don't or try to bring me down....tackle things on my bucket list, add things to my bucket list. Live life with open curiosity for things around me, stop and take in my surroundings, and most importantly, give back to others - give hope to those who are struggling to find it themselves right now, show through positivity what can be...I will to live my life with no regrets!
I have promised myself, when I finally get back my body shape.....My reward will be that saying in a tattoo... Live with no regrets.....
Here's to a bright new future, clear the dead wood, the negativity from your lives - if you live to be 100, life is still too short, don't waste time on things or people who bring you nothing but stress and unhappiness....make positive changes in your lives and enjoy,enjoy.enjoy!!
Until next time
Tracy
No comments:
Post a Comment